It’s November 1st 2015… this is a day I’ll never forget. It’s the day where I literally felt my life had fallen apart. Broken to pieces, torn to shreds… an inexplicable A-Bomb dropped on me from above. At least, that’s what I thought at the time. I was a 34 year-old woman, wife and mother to a beautiful 5 year-old son. I had two condos on the water, a job in corporate finance that paid really well and treated me really well, my son went to private school, we had a nanny, two cars, money in the bank, traveled plenty and was living in a tropical paradise. Sounds perfect, right? To many, yes it would and for a long time I thought it was too. But, in reality it was far from it. I was unhappy… to the core. I never admitted it though… how could I? I had an amazing family, life, job, home and LOTS of responsibilities. With all these blessings, how could I be unhappy. That would be selfish of me.

So what happened that led me to feel like the world fell apart at my feet on this day? I found out that my partner of 15 years was seeing another woman behind my back. I felt like the churning and stormy seas that I’d been treading in for so long finally swallowed me up. I was descending quickly to the depths of the deepest abyss with only a pin-hole of life on the surface left in sight. This was it… this was the end.

Heart breaking tears seared pathways down my face as I kept asking him why? Everything I ever did and had done was for him, my son, my family. All the sacrificing, worries, stresses and fears… all for the life I was trying to create and sustain for us. After a couple hours of the agonizing conversations and floods, my body was finally spent. My mind was a hot mess and my emotions that were running rampant were finally numb. I was utterly exhausted to the core and that last pin-hole of life on the surface of the sea was about to disappear.  One last breath and that would be it… I would be lost to the broken darkness that I was. And then as divine as ever I saw that I had a choice… a choice that I will never forget.

I HAD A CHOICE!!! For the first time in my life I can truly say that I realized that I had a choice… and I chose. I chose not to succumb to the darkness… I chose to use that last breath to pull and kick my way back up to the surface… to the light that even though was as tiny as a pin-prick was calling so lovingly and deeply to me. So I swam and from that day forward and and am now living and loving not in the depths of the darkest stormy seas, but in the deepest and divinest most loving light I’ve ever experienced.

What this meant at the time I did not know. I only knew that I wasn’t going down… I was choosing to rise up.  I was going to fix this! I could fix anything and everything, right? I was going to fix the marriage and life was going to be perfectly amazing… rainbows and butterflies were going to flourish from every corner of my existence and life was going to be better. I was choosing to finally ‘take control of my life.’ Boy did I have some learning to do from that!

So what happened next? Was it easy? Heck no! Those first few months leading up after were the most difficult spaces of ‘Time’ that I’d ever moved through. However, I choose to honour this day not because life fell apart on this day… but, because life really started for me on this day. I was in the start of an awakening… a labor of consciousness and in the process of birthing this new and incredible ME!

What was waiting for me around the corner on this journey was intense and the next steps I took on this path… boy did they lead me down in to some deep, dark, scary places.

And then came The Resistance